There's two more posts to make. And this will likely be the last on mental health. So what should I do? Well I've talked about a few things, and not sure what more to say, but the same again. Because being reminded of these things are needed for everyone.
First goal is to end the stigma of mental illness. There are several ways to do this. Awareness, education, all these things. Remember, someone with a mental illness isn't going through more than you are. They simply are unable to process the normal stresses of life in the same way. Just as we wouldn't expect someone with a broken leg to walk the same as we do. To hobble around they need a cast at the very least. To walk down a street, they need a tool, like crutches. To run a 5km they need to be fully healed. And likely training. You just can't go do it. Doing so, even on painkillers, destroys the leg. And the same is with mental illness. Pain killers, casts, crutches, these are all good things when healing when used properly. And there are things in the mental health that function the same. Video games can numb me. It can help carry me through times. But there's a point where it becomes bad. Just like using painkillers with a broken leg to keep walking. Coping tools, therapy, counseling, changing living arrangements, all these things are tools. Different tools for different people. Remember that. Don't try to force people through things. It only makes it worse.
The second goal is to talk about suicide openly. Desensitizing suicide is good, because that's ultimately what we are hoping to avoid. We often beat around the bush, asking questions that are easier to answer. We ignore the real issues. Then the person feels ignored. If you started asking people who are withdrawing, going through a tough time, and all these things straight forward if they've considered hurting themselves, the answers are hard. They make you think. Often times, people will do "underdosing" attempts. Where they take a lot more of a drug than normal, but still not lethal doses. Perhaps they aren't sure how much it would take. But psychologists also suggest a hospital visit forces it out into the open. Forces people to see how bad things are. And this is a terrible idea. Ask someone, before they end up in the hospital. Or worse, they succeed and it's their funeral the next time you see them.
Lastly, just exist with them. Don't use idle words or phrases. We've heard them. We know what can help. And if that's all you do, then it only makes it look like you don't care. It's like someone hanging off a cliff. If you tell them to hold on, that they will eventually pull themselves up, then do nothing, it's terrible. There are times to tell people to hold on. You're getting a rope, you're finding a way to reach them. You can tell them different strategies, but if they say they know about it, don't force the issue. Perhaps you see a foothold, but they've used it and their feet are now exhausted. Don't keep telling them to do something that they know all about. Get a rope, get help, stay there and help them hold on. Often times there isn't something you can do right "now." The processes are happening. They just take time. And while we're working through things, we don't need more guidance. We just need someone to be there with us. Existing with us. Not just letting us know we're not alone. But showing us. In action.
The problem of depression and mental health illness will not be tackled easily, quickly or completely. We're always going to have struggles. We're never going to know what exactly to do. And sometimes, even with the best efforts, people are going to succumb to the illness. But we can do our best. And doing our best is all we need to do.
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