Well I didn't get a post last night, thanks to fever chills. There's a lot of things I can tough out, but something about fever chills that gets to me. It feel like knives stabbing, when something is even slightly cold.I huddle in the shower until the hot water is gone, then curl into a ball under all spare blankets, hoping to fall asleep before too long.
But I made my goal. Our almost. While I went over 24 hours fasting, I technically didn't make it to 6pm, which is when I said I would start. Almost though. Still a great improvement over any other time I have fasted to pray. Unfortunately I was not perfect with all my other goals. I did get sucked into Facebook, reading about the Covington Catholic Highschool. I did refrain from reposting anything, which was an achievement. But wow, just wow. That whole situation. Perhaps after these forty days I will continue with posts about world events such as that, but for now I am trying not to be on those types of media more than sharing these posts.
I had a lot of thoughts on what I can be posting on my second day. And many of those thoughts I likely will later on in this time of growing. But really what stuck to me is the effort I am putting in to this thing. Honestly, I didn't pray as much as I wanted to during this fast. So was there a point? Is the struggle to achieve a goal, worth it if that goal isn't achieved? Yes, I believe it was. Because the next time I do it, it will be easier. The next time I won't have the cloud of "I've never been able to do it before" hanging over. Someone who's never ran more than a 1km, should not feel let down for doing 4 out of a 5km. It's not the goal they hoped for but it's an improvement. A struggle with great effort to learn to do great things for God is always beneficial. Even if it's learning how to live with struggle. Fighting against years of procrastination and excuses (many are perfectly valid) will not be a one day victory.
So going forward, I can take confidence in the improvements. Learn from the failings. And keep going forward
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